We humans consistently underestimate how much we’ll change in the next 10 years, according to a 2013 study. If we envision the world around us a decade from now, I think we’re likely to underestimate the changes there, too – with respect not only to technology, but also to the people around us.
As a foreigner living abroad, I sometimes feel like I’m a slow-moving planet orbiting a stationary sun while other planets whizz by. Medellín is popular with digital nomads, people attending Spanish immersion courses, adults on sabbatical, etc., which means many foreigners are here for a few months and then gone. Meanwhile, the city in general is known for families and social circles dating back decades, cemented by the mountains’ isolating geography and the city’s enduring appeal. With 5.5 years in my pocket, I find myself in the in-between. It’s not a bad feeling, just somehow different.
The feeling has been more intense lately because a round of foreigner-friends all left in succession. These friends were made over brief periods of time, but nonetheless had significant impacts. Upon leaving, some of them generously gave me miscellaneous items – from clothes to plants to makeup remover – that they did not want or weren’t able to take back. So now, I write with Andrew’s pens (a serious upgrade from mine!), wash my hair with Megan’s shampoo, cook with Shruti’s spices, and water Andrea’s weird but beautiful little fruit tree. This jetsam is a daily reminder of how each person enriched my life. The growing web of contacts I have all over the world is my consolation for the immediate vacancies.
If I don’t underestimate my own rate of change, I’ll probably decorate next Christmas with garland left to me by a friend. For now, I accept my place in the middle – still a newcomer to my local friends (who never quite trust that I won’t jump ship), a long-term expat to my foreigner ones, and a sometime-connector between the two. It’s a weird place to be, but it’s home.
I like your latest blog and I feel the sadness of departing friends.
A few years ago Rachel and I had some friends leave our little town.
We said at the time âWe are going to have to find some new friends.â
This past weekend we were talking about all the really great friends that we currently have
and realized that the friends who moved away several years ago have been replaced.
It seems they found us. We did not find them.
Maybe because in the time between we remained open to new relationships.
You are an open person and I know the same will happen for you too.
Stay open and they will come.
This article really resonated with me. Some of the best friends I’ve made have been foreigners here in Bogota. It’s hard seeing them leave, sometimes I wonder if I should stop making friends that I know from the get-go are here for a limited time.
But then again, they bring such happiness, it was still worth it, even if it was just for a while. So I’ll keep doing it over and over.